There is a part of myself,
rooted deep deep below,
that physically cannot accept,
any part of myself could be loved.
It sits beneath my collar bone,
and nests inside my heart.
I've never been without this feeling.
We've never been apart.
It and me, have become a "we"
as it's the only thing
that has not abandoned me.
Aching to know that
any morsel of myself,
is worthy of affection.
My lungs sill become taught
and strained
between my veins.
In struggling to breathe,
it will force me to take aim
straight at whatever thing
has twisted my lungs,
and deeply hurt me.
Maybe this is why I hurt myself;
After I've fought everyone else away.
dh. 7.31.23
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