Passing Grief

And the fourth year after his passing, oddly feels just as bad as the first.

The first year was shock,

The second year in denial that he left me to live without him,

The third I finally started to grieve and process it.

And on 4 year reality hits, and suddenly the grief leaves me in painful, breathless sobs. The ache burns my chest some moments. And the rising depression turns my life into a kaleidoscope of everything that could’ve been.

It’s not every second, and I know he’d want to see me soldiering on- but I still miss the person who finally gave my heart a home

dh 11.18.22

Should I Change?

I don’t know how you saw me,

but I wish I could see the same.

Wishing that every time I looked in the mirror,

That I saw more than what needs changed.

I wish I’d see the beautiful,

or whatever made you stay.

But maybe I had lost it,

And that’s why you walked away.

dh 11.03.2022

?Vagabonds¿

Have you ever been a vagabond;

A wanderer quite like me?

With the long nights

and

Streetlights

and

Cold air causing

Breath you can see;

Where the road is home,

The soul has a need to roam

Until it’s understood or

set free?

I don’t know

whether I’m running from

Or am running to, most days.

I need to leave,

and keep searching for peace.

I pace the halls

but the desire to run

flows through my blood stream.

dh.

10.15.2022